its going to be my birthday in exactly 6 minutes... i will be a year old!

perhaps i should apologize... for not posting anything lately. it has been so hectic around here lately. mommy has been finishing up her spring cleaning, taking daddy to work and back everyday (but now he can drive himself so that is OVER!), and drinking like a mad woman. seriously. there have been parties almost every night for the past month. it's insane.

we are no longer friends with jeremy or justin (the stupid twins)... or mike butcher (that loud black guy). mommy and daddy are a little upset about it. they are trying to make new friends but it's not working out very well. no one likes us anymore... i guess we suck.

as for mommy's knitting, she is making a handbag out of this really pretty multi-colored yarn. and she is crocheting a rug for the kitchen. she's working verrrry slowly, though.

me? well, i have been doing a whole bunch of nothing. lying around... sleeping... chewing up more of mommy's underwear... the usual. last night i went outside with mommy and daddy and ran around by the campfire for the 4th time this week. it was sooo much fun! but now i stink, and i need a bath... i hope mommy goes easy on me and waits until AFTER my birthday to give me one. i would hate her forever.

alright, i'm outtie... i want to be right next to mommy when the clock hits 12 so she can give me a big birthday kiss!

we had our first weiner roast at the new house monday night. it was so much fun! i even got to go outside with everyone! but i kept eating grass so finally mommy took me in.

today i had to get a bath because i was so dirty from being outside... i hid behind the toilet for 10 minutes until mommy finally got ahold of my tail and caught me... stupid mommy. it was terrible. i cried and cried and gave mommy my "help me" face the entire time. now i'm soaking wet and shivering because i won't let her dry me off with the towel. heh.

mommy is crocheting a cell phone purse. it's cute so far but she is scared she'll mess it up eventually. it's white, with alternating rows of hdc and dc. it's coming along pretty well, for now.

i'm outtie... we're going to gramma's!

mommy is making wrist wamers. crocheted, of course...

they are going to be sort of like these. but no popcorn stitches. mommy is using real soft black yarn.

not much knitting going on lately. the pink garter stitch scarf is still on the needles, but hasn't been worked on for quite some time. mommy is lazy.

...she is probably just worn out. 8 out of the past 9 days, mommy has played at least 5 games of beer pong each night. the night before last she played 13. she was throwing up all day yesterday. ick. but for some stupid reason, she played 2 times last night, and tonight she and daddy are having a few people over to play some more.

as for me, i have been bored out of my mind the past few days. since daddy lost his license, mommy has to drive him to work and back every day. it's really annoying. all i do is sit by the door and wait for her to get home. she gets home, watches tv for a few hours, then leaves again. i hate it.

anyway, it's about time for mommy to go pick daddy up from work. i'm trying to convince her to take me with her...

daddy got arrested last friday... nevermind how or why (it's a loooong story-- and lots of charges), but today he and mommy went to court and now daddy has to pay over $1000 in fines. he lost his license for 180 days as well. so now mommy has to take him to work everyday and drive all the way back there 5 hours later to bring him back home... and if daddy gets pulled over again in the next 2 years (after he gets his license back, of course), he has to go to jail for 60 days.

it's absolutely terrible.

we have to take mommy's engagement ring back to the store because they can't pay for it anymore, thanks to all the stupid fines (the money is due in the middle of APRIL!). mommy says it's ridiculous... and she and daddy are heartbroken about her ring.

but, on a much different subject... mommy finished my sweater. IT DOESN'T FIT. go figure. she has decided to give up on the whole dog clothing idea and go back to making scarves for the rest of her life.

oh, oh! and mommy's arbonne party went very well last night! she got a few orders, and also got 2 people to sign up as consultants. this means more money for mommy (we could sure use it)!

time for bed. mommy got an hour and a half of sleep last night. she didn't get to sleep until 5:30 in the morning, and had to wake up at about 7 to go to court with daddy.

what a day.

aggrivated with all the bogus patterns for dog sweaters on the internet, mommy has decided to make her own... feel free to use it-- it's not anything special!

it still may need to be altered a bit.

EMMI'S SWEATER (we need a better name)
Pattern by Kaylee (mommy)

Materials:

Hook- size H
Yarn- 4ply worsted weight yarn (I used Caron Simply Soft in "Orchid")

Stitches Used- ch (chain), sl st (slip stitch), hdc (half-double crochet)


RND 1: Ch 80. Join with sl st to form circle. Ch 2. Hdc in each ch around, join with sl st in top of beg ch 2. Ch 2, DO NOT TURN.
RNDS 2-17: Hdc in each ch around, join with sl st in top of beg ch 2. DO NOT TURN.
RND 18: Sl st in next 30 sts. Ch 2, hdc in next 49 sts. Ch 2. TURN.
Rows 19-27: Hdc in each hdc. Ch 2. TURN.
RND 28: Hdc in each hdc. Ch 27. DO NOT TURN. Join with sl st opposite side of row just completed. Ch 2.
RND 29: Hdc in each st & ch around. Join with sl st in top of beg ch 2. Ch 2. DO NOT TURN.
RNDS 30-31- Repeat RND 29.

Tie off and hide loose ends.

who does this remind you of?
....


(i'm prettier)

mommy just finished blocking my sweater and now we are waiting for it to dry. i hope it takes forever...

we got the arbonne stuff yesterday. i tried to bite the ups man... now mommy has a RE9 kit (anti-aging kit), a normal-to-dry skin kit, some self-tanner (which works WONDERFULLY), and 3 aromatherapy sprays. mommy is going to be hosting an arbonne party at gramma's house on the 20th-- hopefully she will get some orders! if anyone is interested in buying from mommy, let us know! we can mail you a catalog and some samples (of the RE9). mommy even has some clients in boston!

i'm worried about daddy. he went to town at 11 this morning, said he would be back in an hour, and now it is almost 2 in the afternoon. but that's pretty typical for daddy... and his stupid-ass (as mommy says) didn't bring his cell phone. geesh.

gotta catch the end of days of our lives.

i look so silly without my bangs. daddy keeps making fun of me but mommy says i'm cute. thank you, mommy! you are my best friend...

yes, i'm aware that i do have my bangs in this picture... our camera batteries are dead so we can't take a picture of the *new me*!

mommy started ANOTHER sweater for me. this time, she's following a pattern step-by-step instead of doing her own thing, like she usually does (stubborn). it looks a little too tight so mommy says she is going to block it. not sure how, but she will learn.

as for her growing list of projects-in-process, this is what mommy is currently working on...



* STILL, the crocheted blanket (donut not included)... it is pretty big now-- probably 2 more rows of each color and she will be finished. it is all dc.






* 2nd pink garter-stitch scarf. the one pictured is the first one (the one i ruined THE VERY NEXT DAY after she was finished), but the one she is working on now looks exactly the same. it's about 3 feet long by now. almost done-- mommy likes her scarves long.



* the very BEAUTIFUL dc & tc crocheted rug for the kitchen. it's a light tan color-- very pretty... but no picture.

* my stupid sweater... all hdc and worked in rounds. light green. ugh. gag.



* gay parrot scarf. it will NEVER be finished because mommy dropped 4 stitches and doesn't know how to pick them back up. what an idiot.




i think that's about it. i'm probably missing a few things... mommy has so many projects started that it's hard to keep track. drives me crazy.

i'm outtie.

best picture mommy could get...

i hate mommy.

hate her, hate her, hate her!

first she made gramma kirkbride give me a haircut... THEN took me home and gave me the longest bath i have ever had in my life... and now she is waiting for me to dry so she can dress me up in that stupid pink sweater.

life's a "bitch".

mommy finished my sweater yesterday. it's quite embarassing -- for both of us -- so we decided not to take a picture. she is currently working on another one (bright pink!) and hopefully it will look better than the first.

wow... what a horrible night i had last night. we had some people over... aunt sallie and mommy thought it would be fun for her to bring baby over too (aunt sallie's dog). she is a jack russell (like baxter!) and about the same size as me.

i wasn't very happy. i started growling and trying to bite her. mommy was holding onto me real tight so i turned around and snapped at mommy in her face. baby was flipping out, scared out of her mind... daddy grabbed me and took me into the bedroom and locked me in.

mommy couldn't believe it! i have NEVER been mean to another dog before! never! mommy thought maybe it was a territorial thing, since this is my house and there has never been another dog in here with me. i feel kind of bad about it now, though... baby was shaking and crying. poor thing...

mommy and aunt sallie have decided to start taking me and baby on walks together this spring so we can get to know each other slowly.

anyway... we are going to gramma kirkbrides' later tonight so mommy can watch the week's worth of days of our lives on soapnet... our stupid dish network package sucks and we hardly get ANY channels!

i'm so excited to see jodi! everytime i see her, we play and wrestle for HOURS! but there's always a catch... i have to get a bath everytime i come home from gramma kirkbrides' because i'm covered in jodi slobber and mommy thinks it's nasty! oh well.

i will let you know how it goes!

mommy has been working on my sweater all day. it is pastel purple, double-stranded with white. she found this pattern online earlier-- it looks a lot like mine, but not quite the same.


it's probably going to look like crap when it's done because mommy is stubborn... never follows patterns, but makes her own. i hate it all ready. she keeps measuring me and it's driving me crazy.

maybe later while she's not looking, i'll eat it. i'm good at things like that.

we had a bunch of company last night. after a few hours mommy started acting strange and couldn't walk right. she kept trying to say my name, but it always came out as "emmishwoo". every freaking time. what a moron.

mommy says that my sweater should be done by tomorrow (hopefully).

no one is leaving me comments anymore...

fine then. i'd rather talk to myself, anyway.






mommy is officially an arbonne consultant now. she's really excited about it-- hopefully within the next couple of months we will start seeing the big bucks! i sure hope so... being poor is the worst thing in the world. daddy just got his crappy paycheck the other day, and after the groceries, bills, and emmi food, it is all gone. perhaps if mommy quit smoking there would be more money? i'll make sure to inform her of this...

mommy just starting working on a crocheted rug for the kitchen. she got the idea out of one of her knitting books, but all of her needles are currently "occupied" except the crappy plastic size 4's (which wouldn't work anyway)... so she decided to crochet it instead. it will still be cute.

sallie came over last night and got her knitted hat. she loved it! she wants mommy to knit her dog (baby) a sweater, but mommy hasn't figured out all the increase, decrease crap that goes along with knitting. in crochet, it's sooo easy! so maybe she will crochet her one instead.

i'm getting ready to be measured for my first real crocheted sweater in a few minutes. mommy has a bunch of yarn in the "knit room" that she can use... not sure which colors yet, though. perhaps pink, or pretty pastel purple. we'll see.

i'll keep you updated. this is going to suck.